for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
