dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There's always time for handjobs
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Randomize
