We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
