90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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