This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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