R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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