I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize