and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I deserve to be covered in dicks
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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