I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
