Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
