butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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