were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
