I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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