Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
