somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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