you guys were way drunker than both of me
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
