How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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