At least make sure they are 18
Why
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
