i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
