So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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