I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
