For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
