its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
