I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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