I showed him my bush... on skype.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize