Pregnant stripper...not hot.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
