so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
