summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize