redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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