I'm going to rape someone's good day.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
