Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
