How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
