Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
this will be a night to untag.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
