I accidentally had phone sex last night
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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