I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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