i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
you made out with another girl for some wings
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
