How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
