you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
