Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize