She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
