You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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