hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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