I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
