Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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