if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
