So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
