If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
