I CAN MOONWALK!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Randomize
