Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

this just has baby written all over it

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.

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(574): View more from Indiana

I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.

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(631): View more from New York

he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality

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(706): View more from Georgia

six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.

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(407): View more from Florida

You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.

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(513): View more from Ohio

He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun

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