it was like his penis was on wheels.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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