Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
