can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
