My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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