you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
