Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
