i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
