Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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