found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
