I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
