i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
There r osticjed everywhere
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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