if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
