just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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