Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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