Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
