I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
