Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She just used a chaser for red wine.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
